Thursday, February 24, 2011
Grieving L.K. Madigan
I didn't know her as well as many others. I only met her once in person, but I was instantly in love. I did know her from The Debs, and was so fortunate to get to know her in our online community.
There's alot of words being written about her right now, because she was the type of person who touched others just by being herself. With Kindness. With Humor. With her Surprisingly Tall Height. The Warmest Smile. And Nice. Just really, really nice.
No doubt she was also talented. Her Debut, Flash Burnout won the Morris Award. I remember reading it and laughing out loud and thinking, holy crackers, this is what they mean when they talk about VOICE.
And starred reviews for Mermaid's Mirror. A book that came out as she was beginning to know that something was wrong. That she was ill.
And her post on live journal, where she told the world about her pancreatic cancer. So Brave. So Honest. So Dignified.
And yet in her words, there was one line that broke my heart and continues to linger in my mind. Talking about her son, Lisa wrote this:
"I would step in front of my son to take a bullet for him. But now I feel like the one pulling the trigger."
It's the voice of a truly wonderful mother who feels worst, not about dying but about leaving her son behind to cope without her. This is what breaks me the most. This is definitely the line I grieve the most.
From all accounts, Lisa went the same way she lived. With grace and dignity. Surrounded by people who love her. I feel her loss and my heart goes out to her son. I wish for him a wonderful life, the kind of life his mom wanted for him. I hope that he grows up and is able to feel her in his life, watching along with him as he grows and becomes a man.
Someday I hope that he is able to be comforted by how much she touched others. How much she was loved. And knowing that she loved him with all of her heart.
Her time here was not enough. But she left us with the memory of how to live.